9.29.2009

Grandma's Eulogy from her Children's Perspective

This is the eulogy given by my Uncle Mark and written by my mother's brothers...

I'm Mark, the oldest son and speaking for my brothers and sisters, I would like to tell you about the amazing mother we had.

We first would like to thank all of you for taking time from your busy schedules to be here and to help us celebrate our mother's life. Also, thank you Father for having our Mother's funeral at Holy Cross. Our family has a lot of history here. As father said, our family helped to build this church.

Our mother's father, Edward actually came over from Germany to go to the seminary. After he left the seminary, he got married and eventually settled here. He had eight children and Mom was the youngest and by quite a margin. It must have been a very devout family since two of Mom's sisters became nuns. Our Mom was born, baptized, went to school and was married here.
She lived here for 50 years and raised all of her children here. All of her children went to Holy Cross and grew up in the same house that she did.-a little house with one sink-can you believe it? This strong religious foundation would help her later in life as a wife and mother.

Now I now would like to share some thoughts about our Mom starting first with some comments from my brother Vince, whom Mom liked to call her baby:

"My mom was a great role model and I learned a lot from her and the people she influenced. As far back as I can remember, our dad was sick, in and out of the VA hospital, and couldn't keep a full time job. Because of my dad's condition, mom had to wear many hats in our family. She did it all. She was like a single mom but in addition to taking care of five kids, she had to take care of my dad too. "

"As I became an adolescent my mom went back to work full time. I learned I could get away with a lot of things because I didn't have much "adult supervision". By that time, I was looking up to my older brothers who weren't exactly angels either. I learned a lot from them, some good and some not so good."

(In looking back, I wish I had been mature enough to help mom more.)

"Somehow I managed to stay out of too much trouble. Shortly after I turned seventeen, my dad passed away suddenly and it was just my mom and me at home. She tried to control my behavior, but at five foot two, she couldn't stop me. I had no fear and learned I could get away with even more."

"My mom rarely told me what to do. However she always questioned me-is your homework done, why do you stay out so late, etc? In her own way, she was teaching me about life, I learned a lot of lessons the hard way and later realized she was just trying to help me."

"I also had four older siblings that were examples for me to follow but Mom was a role model for them and, in turn, they became role models for me."

"My mom lived a good life. She had faith in God and was a great example for all of us. She rarely complained about anything throughout her life, even near the end."

Now I would like to share some thoughts from my brother Jim:

"Mom was the hardest worker I ever knew. She was a great cook, house cleaner, banker, scheduler, car pool driver, bill payer, disciplinarian (at least for two of us), clothes washer, tutor, volunteer and friend. Our clothes were always clean and pressed. If we tore a hole in our pants she sewed them up and they were ready to go the next day. Our house was always spotless and everything had a place. She didn't have to tell us very often to "put something away". We just accepted it as the right way to live."

"She put her family first. She somehow managed to sacrifice and save enough money to send 5 kids to Catholic grade schools and high schools. Extra money was spent on her kids, not herself. I am sure there were times she would have liked a new dress but that rarely happened."

"She always stressed the importance of working hard in school and getting a good education. Neither Mom or Dad finished high school. She had to drop out and go to work when her father lost his job during the Depression."

"Mom was proud all of her kids graduated from college. Though she never said it, I think it was one of her goals."

(In looking back, she always encouraged us to have jobs-cutting grass, delivering newspapers, etc. and would say "Save your money so you can go to college.)

"She rarely complained and didn't need much to be happy. God, family and friends were important, everything else was secondary. She was never jealous of people who had more than she. Big houses, fancy cars and expensive clothes didn't impress her. Integrity and respect for others had more meaning and opened the door to more long and lasting friendships. Mom made lots of friends at her apartment and nursing home. People loved her because she always treated them with respect and never complained about her life and the hand she was dealt. God had a plan for her and she was OK with it, no need to burden anyone else."

"Now that she is in heaven I am sure I will be calling on her again to help me get through the bumps in the road ahead. I know she will be there for me and the entire family. Her greatest legacy is the great family she leaves behind. She showed us how to be good parents and what is truly important in life."

We love you Mom!
Thank you for being such a great mother!

Today, I am grateful for a wonderful weekend in California with my mom, friends, family and God.

Rach

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