Having a pretty major surgery coming up in a little over a week is kind of like preparing for a trip, except that you aren’t quite sure when you will get to return home from the “trip”. It depends on how the recovery goes and complications that can (especially with me) arise. Doctors have frequently referred to me as a “challenge” and “always throwing them curveballs”-thankfully this means in good ways too. I have been working on my to-do list before surgery and knocking out items daily.
Amongst my pre-surgery anxiety, I have been trying to think of the things I am looking forward to post-surgery and not how I am going to feel when I wake up from anesthesia (groan) and the days following when I will have incisions all over my abdomen and chest and some of my insides moved around again.
I look forward to:
-being able to fly in an airplane again…by the time that I likely will be able to it will have been about a year since I flew and over 2 years since I went on a “real vacation” (that wasn’t for a wedding or conference, etc.). I would like to spend some time with my husband in NYC and have many friends and places that I would like to see.
-taking a shower without being wrapped in plastic and not having to strategically schedule it around another person’s schedule.
-not having to stress about when I need to order more supplies and dealing with the medical supply company’s website giving me messages that I do not qualify for more supplies (when I will run out in 2 days).
-having my days and weekends free of daily appointments or scheduling homecare nurses (or family members) to do dressing changes.
-not having air constantly leaking out of my side. I look forward to breathing better and not being short of breath if I lift my arm too high…and not having spontaneous farting noises coming out of it (yes, it has officially farted in a quiet elevator and at church, amongst other places).
-having clean skin that is free of bandages and stickiness left behind from medical tape. My skin has held up well considering but hopefully it will be quite happy when it doesn’t have to feel itchy, irritated and leaked on daily.
-wearing tank tops and dresses again without my bandage hanging out. I’m at the point where I don’t really care anymore and do wear them, but it will still be nice not to be looked at when out in public.
-possibly working as an art therapist again and moving forward with life.
-working out and getting stronger and knowing that hopefully I will not get knocked down again any time soon.
-not having a window anymore! It’s been “fun” and all, but it’s really time we part ways and “close” this chapter in my life.