Post-Surgery Pros

Having a pretty major surgery coming up in a little over a week is kind of like preparing for a trip, except that you aren’t quite sure when you will get to return home from the “trip”.   It depends on how the recovery goes and complications that can (especially with me) arise.  Doctors have frequently referred to me as a “challenge” and “always throwing them curveballs”-thankfully this means in good ways too.  I have been working on my to-do list before surgery and knocking out items daily.

Amongst my pre-surgery anxiety, I have been trying to think of the things I am looking forward to post-surgery and not how I am going to feel when I wake up from anesthesia (groan) and the days following when I will have incisions all over my abdomen and chest and some of my insides moved around again.

I look forward to:

-being able to fly in an airplane again…by the time that I likely will be able to it will have been about a year since I flew and over 2 years since I went on a “real vacation” (that wasn’t for a wedding or conference, etc.).  I would like to spend some time with my husband in NYC and have many friends and places that I would like to see.

-taking a shower without being wrapped in plastic and not having to strategically schedule it around another person’s schedule.

-not having to stress about when I need to order more supplies and dealing with the medical supply company’s website giving me messages that I do not qualify for more supplies (when I will run out in 2 days).

-having my days and weekends free of daily appointments or scheduling homecare nurses (or family members) to do dressing changes.

-not having air constantly leaking out of my side.  I look forward to breathing better and not being short of breath if I lift my arm too high…and not having spontaneous farting noises coming out of it (yes, it has officially farted in a quiet elevator and at church, amongst other places).

-having clean skin that is free of bandages and stickiness left behind from medical tape.  My skin has held up well considering but hopefully it will be quite happy when it doesn’t have to feel itchy, irritated and leaked on daily.

-wearing tank tops and dresses again without my bandage hanging out.  I’m at the point where I don’t really care anymore and do wear them, but it will still be nice not to be looked at when out in public.

-possibly working as an art therapist again and moving forward with life.

-working out and getting stronger and knowing that hopefully I will not get knocked down again any time soon. 

-swimming 

-not having a window anymore!  It’s been “fun” and all, but it’s really time we part ways and “close” this chapter in my life.

Milestone

It's been a whirlwind of work, friends and family since we returned from our wonderful trip to Nashville. We felt very blessed to have been invited to such a terrific event. We met lots of amazing people and really enjoyed Nashville.

Tomorrow, I am reaching a milestone-for many cancer survivors, that is. Awhile ago I wrote a post about my port. Well, tomorrow is the big day that we will be parting ways. Even though I still go to the doctor every 3 months, I have decided after 7 years together, we are going to break up. You've been a good sport, Port.

Before the craziness of grad school starts, I figured I would have the time to rest after getting it out and can muster up the strength to get stuck in my arm every 3 months...

Pros of getting it out:
-No more plastic device in my body
-It's a step in healing
-I could (if I wanted to) play high impact sports
-Do not have to worry about it getting infected
-Forced rest

Cons:
-I've had to stop one of my medicines for a few days and it has left me with horrible headaches and soreness...ugh.
-It's surgery with an incision, soreness and possible complications (low chance)
-I will have to get IVs in the arms again
-If I ever need to get a port again, my places to put a new one will be limited (I have had 2 external central lines and I think 3 internal ports over the years).

Today, I am thankful for a wonderful summer, hope, friends, family, and God.

Rach

6 Years! Woohoo!

Crazy...it doesn't seem like 5 years was that long ago. Today marks 6 years since the cardiovascular thoracic surgeon cut through 3 major back muscles, stretched and cut ribs and moved other vital organs out of the way. All done to remove Spanky, the small Nerf football-sized tumor, that was nestled between my heart, lung, spine and pulmonary artery! And the biopsy days later showed the tumor had died miraculously with little treatment and my organs survived with manageable side effects.

Still hard to believe it all happened...but I am incredibly thankful to God and my medical team. They continue to get me through every day.

Rachel

4 Year Celebration

MAY 19th, 2004...I was wheeled into a very life-threatening surgery to remove the tumor that had sat between my heart, lung, spinal cord and pulmonary artery for a year and a half. An amazing and renowned cardiovascular and thoracic surgeon had miraculously moved to where I lived (after having searched, literally, the world for options). He was the first person who gave us hope that he thought he could get the tumor out safely and would not even have to put me on heart bypass, as other surgeons had forcefully told us was going to be the case, IF it ever happened.

The surgery was quite long and 3 major muscles in my back were sawed through (and then put back together fiber by fiber-isn't medicine amazing?), parts of ribs were removed and stretched and a large curved incision on my back became permanent (and later a month-long collapsed lung was a complication of surgery...a story for another time). The surgeon discovered the tumor was the size of a small Nerf football and successfully removed it (and most of you know the best, juicy part of this tale-the tumor was discovered to have died inside of me with very minimal treatment-something doctors still can't explain and I'm ok with that :) ).

It had been a year and a half of a 0% chance of living (no one else in my situation, ever, with my cancer had lived with a relapse after a stem cell transplant). There were so many unknowns during that time, so many letdowns from world renowned doctors and experts and so much pain and worry about what was to come. How would I leave myself behind? Would I die slowly or quickly? Which organ would the tumor invade first and what would that entail? Would I be in a wheelchair?

Simply waking up in the morning with my arm completely asleep would make my mind immediately think that my body was shutting down-that the tumor had started to take over. But thankfully my arm always woke up. And I always woke up.

I still thankfully wake up every day and am amazed that 4 wonderful years have passed since that day. (Thank God!!!) It frankly blows my mind and is hard to put into words. I try to stick with the positive when possible and know that every day is what I consider extra time here, whether that day is good or very good.

Peace to all!

Today, I am grateful for: a wonderful day of charity & friends, time with my fiance, everything about today and for all my 'extra time' here, God's blessings and family!

Rach

Happy Halloween-Part 2!

Happy Halloween (again)!

(yes, I put a red tint on the pic in case you were wondering!)

I just had to post again after my vigourous hour of raking, although I usually restrict myself to 1 post a day! Haha.

Anyways, it was so nice to do something fall-ish on Halloween and something that made me feel more 'normal'. It was also a nice counter-action to having to go to the Dr on Monday for a shot (ugh).

I hadn't really raked for about 9 years-hard to believe! I was sick for SO many years...the last time really sticks out too because it was right before I was diagnosed. My back was hurting SOO much and my Dad said, "Rachel, what would you like me to do?... Surgery? It's not going to help your back."

Poor guy-he's never lived that comment down. At that point, the pediatrician had assured us my pain was from an overly heavy backpack, like all the other kids...

I am grateful for getting a working out doing normal things, having had that surgery that relieved the tumor off my spine and enjoying the fall weather.

R

Sir Jury

Sir Jury

by Rachel

May 10th, 2004

*written before my last huge "sir jury" (surgery)*

"Sir Jury",

Why must you visit me?

So sudden and frightening

Interrupting the flow inside me

Shocking my core

Causing me to freeze

I will meet your boss

Tomorrow

A life-changing day

Please, be kind,

Mr. Sir Jury.

Love,
Rachel

While, I am not having surgery quite as dramatic, severe or traumatic as the one in the poem, I am having surgery a week from today. And thankfully, it's not cancer-related. It's a 'normal' surgery for people my age-wisdom teeth removal. They finally have started hurting-we knew it was only a matter of time. And timing is alright- midterm stuff will be done=less homework, I have a rare unscheduled weekend after that and people to take me and help out if I'm sick.

Still, it's annoying. Surgery is no fun and usually more complicated because of my past. I opted to be knocked out (been awake for too many things that I'd rather forget and asleep for many more). Hopefully, all will go well and the recovery will be minimal. Let's hope, that's all we can do.

I am off to do more fun things...like get ready for the photoshoot tonight.

Today, I am thankful for: friends, family and having not had surgery in awhile.

Peace.

Rachel