Spring Break

I will be taking a 'spring break' from the blog (like I did last year) just to let you know. Hopefully, I'll be back soon!

I am grateful for so much!

Love,
Rachel

Finito (almost)

Whew...tonight I finished up the semester-for the most part. I have something smaller due on Friday and some cleaning up to do at school but the big stuff is out of the way! I know I got an A in College Algebra. At the beginning of the class (and when I signed up)-I was actually worried. I needed it for my math credit for my major and because of cancer, I hadn't really taken much math for about 8 years...(a 1/4 of a semester of calculus-twice over-both times interrupted by relapses)...

My dad used to like to joke that I lived the 'college life' while I was going through cancer treatments-I slept in a lot, I taught myself much of the material, didn't always go to class, etc.

Some of my concerns over the past few years has been...can I do ok in classes on my own? I know this may sound strange-but I was self-conscious about it. Between having a special tutor and some help with my schoolwork from teachers and friends when I had cancer, I started to doubt myself and wondered if I would do ok on my own-especially in college.

The other thing I worried about was whether the chemotherapy and other treatments had affected the functioning of my brain-if I would lose some intelligence. I do not believe I am less smart nowadays but I do get some foggy chemobrain symptoms and sometimes can't concentrate as well or process things as quickly, etc. but I've learned to deal with it and usually people don't even notice. It can be trying at times though.

So, the past few years I have really been 'on my own' in college. A lot of professors in the past did not know about the cancer or if they do, I don't get special help. I have gone into my current and last colleges without knowing anyone in my classes and have excelled. It's been nice to prove to myself that I can do it on my own and can do it well-even with all the distractions, especially of this semester-the traveling, speaking, not feeling well, etc. Even though I won't have my final GPA for a few days, I have a good feeling.

Now for some sleep...

Today, I am grateful for break, sleep, a wonderful art event this evening with friends and catching up with some old aquaintances/friends, friends, family, God and relaxing baths!

Rachel

Art is knowing which ones to keep...

Link to Painting by Dosia McKay

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

— Scott Adams

My art therapist has told me-"There are no mistakes in art." Thinking of that when I am frustrated with art has been beneficial. I am looking forward to doing lots of art over holiday break (T minus 1 week!)

As much as I like and enjoy and feel fortunate to be able to go to school full-time, my body is really ready for a break and I am looking forward to some time off to heal, connect with friends and family, do lots of artwork, read, clean, cook, enjoy some cultural stuff, etc.

Today, I am grateful for great friends and family, God, love, prayers and hope.

Rach

Past Places

While studying last night, I felt compelled to write a little poetry-something I have not done in awhile. Maybe it just took being in an old place-an old friend.

It is strange

Traversing in places

That are so incredibly familiar

So much that I could walk blindfolded here

Yet with the passing of time

It has changed

The people are the same

Yet we have changed

Some loss has occurred

Yet so much has been gained

Brilliant memories

Blended and intertwined with difficult ones

For one night

I am living in the past

And the future

All at the same time

But when you look closer-

Is that not what every day

Really is?

-Rachel 10.17.2008

Today, I am grateful to be on fall break after one more exam that I'm feeling good about, for not having too bad of a cold this week and being able to nap some, for friends, family and God, for fun stuff to do over break :) and time to recharge!

Rach

Let Freedom Ring!

Finished with the semester. I survived! Heehee. I think I got all really good grades too which is amazing with the relapse scare at the beginning of the semester, the intense pains all over in the middle and then the nasty cold when I was trying to wrap everything up, amongst everything else that life brings. Whew.

The break will be filled with lots of stuff I have been putting off (wedding, prepping for a huge speech in April, applying to the college I'm hopefully transferring to next fall, christmas gifts, looking for a place to live, making art for my art portfolio for art school, ETC!) and lots of fun and catching up with people, I hope, too.

Don't get me wrong-I am SO grateful to be privileged enough to go to school again. It had been many years that of stopping and starting or just not having a stable health life to be able to commit to full-time credited school. Instead, I traveled, did artwork, worked at a job that was great about everything, volunteered and took continuing ed classes amongst other stuff. I was blessed and it led me to this point where I really appreciate the joy of learning. I see all these other people-all ages- complain all the time about this and that at school and I just want to say something but of course I don't. Sure, complaining/venting has its place for all of us, but some people, it seems, that is all they know how to do. I also want to say, if you do not want to be here, you have a choice and you do not have to.

To everyone reading: the blog's been a great motivator and distraction, so thank you for your prayers, comments and inspiration! I truly appreciate all my new and old friends- haha, reminds me of Girl Scouts..."Make new friends...but keep the old ones...".

Today, I am grateful for: fresh homemade smoothies (one of my new favorite things-yum!), friends, family, breaks to refresh my body and soul and God.

Lots of love,

Rachel

PS-I'm starting to feel better. Thanks for all your messages, prayers and everything else!! Truly appreciate it :).