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“Because life is a living, breathing work of art, you are a painting as you go. Be a masterpiece. Drink in life. Laugh too loud. Compliment others constantly.” —Nicole Johnson

Hola

Just checking to say that I am feeling grateful each day to be in graduate school for art therapy and counseling...it's been a long road but I'm finally here :).

I also was able to teach a children's art class at the hospital where I was treated to children in the hospital. It was a great group and I even got to see an old friend's family (even though it wasn't for a good reason).

I was asked to donate a couple of art pieces to an art therapy benefit and auction. It was a fabulous event and I was glad to be a part of it!

Another speaking engagement (locally) went well in August and I was just as inspired by the audience I met afterward!

Today, I am grateful for: God, new friends, old friends, family, hope, grad school, amazing people in my life that have helped me and continue to help me...and so much more!

Rachel

BA Show

As part of my graduation, I was in the Bachelor of Arts-Studio Art show. I wanted to share a few images from the show. I cannot believe graduation is so soon!

Ceramic piece: Facing My Back

This piece addresses the scars on my back that are from the extensive tumor removals and resections. The scars represent all of the healing and trauma that has gone on within my body-emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually-since being diagnosed for the first of three times.

Painting Title: Inside Grief
Acrylic on Wood

This piece is representative of the feelings that emerge sometimes about having had cancer three times and all that it entails. Usually, I am very positive but this shows the other side.

Sculpture piece: Tumor
Wire, fabric and LED lights

Hanging sculpture piece: To Mix, To Suspend, To Simplify

Clear Thread, Hot Glue and Fabric

Painting Title: Hope
Acrylic on Canvas

Dragonflies are my personal symbol of hope.

Today, I am grateful for coming this far, family, friends, new opportunities and much more!

Rachel

The Ending and Beginning of Something New

I ended the semester yesterday with a final critique for a drawing class and today I start my art therapy apprenticeship!

I wanted to write about how strange dreams are though. Late yesterday afternoon, while thoroughly exhausted, I fell asleep watching TV on the couch. I suddenly was on a study abroad trip or a vacation with some people from my art classes. Then suddenly we were all outside and a seemingly friendly horse came up and was licking my arm like crazy. He proceeded to start gnawing on my arm (the one that still has some pain and numbness but is status quo and manageable) to where he was becoming aggressive and acted like he was going to eat me. His owners just stood aside and did nothing as I yelled for help. Thankfully, for some reason I was able to get away and run quickly into a house. The people inside were nice and kept me safe as the horse was outside on his hind legs.

I was really happy to wake up and felt like my arm still hurt from the experience. I don't normally remember my dreams very well but this one was very vivid.

What kind of crazy dreams have you had?

Today, I am grateful for about a month off of school, music, friends, family and God.

Rach

Art as Therapy

Obviously art as therapy interests me-a lot-thus why I want to become an art therapist. On Fridays at my university, the art students work in the art studios (we have classes off and are expected to be there working on stuff and also attend a noon artist lecture that the university arranges). I really like the set-up and have been pretty productive the last 2 Fridays which helps to enjoy the weekends even more.

Last Friday I had a paint mixing exercise to work on and had some leftover paint. Since growing up, my family wasn't big on wasting anything, I did not want to waste the paint.

I took it and started playing around on some extra paper. The more I experimented, the more the art became introspective of life right now. I had a busy background with swirls and various colors and overlapping designs. Then I painted a person in white with some dimension that is looking towards the chaos and the arms are crossed or outstretched (unseen from the viewer's angle). I realized it is somewhat representational of my life right now. I was pleased with the outcome and am thinking it might get a 'wall spot' in the condo. Here it is:



Today, I am grateful for a night to relax, hopefully a snow day tomorrow (crossing my fingers b/c it's my 13 hour school day...), friends, family and God!

Rachel

An Art Form of Me

The Process

The Finished Pieces
(mold from my legs on the left)

The Legs went on a journey...
to the library...

and onto a bench and beyond...

This was my art project for a Creative Strategies class. We did a mold of my legs out of packing tape and then did another of my partner's brother's legs.

I think it turned out pretty well!

Today, I am grateful to be on break after an exam and a quiz in the PM, friends, family and God.

Rach

Art is knowing which ones to keep...

Link to Painting by Dosia McKay

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

— Scott Adams

My art therapist has told me-"There are no mistakes in art." Thinking of that when I am frustrated with art has been beneficial. I am looking forward to doing lots of art over holiday break (T minus 1 week!)

As much as I like and enjoy and feel fortunate to be able to go to school full-time, my body is really ready for a break and I am looking forward to some time off to heal, connect with friends and family, do lots of artwork, read, clean, cook, enjoy some cultural stuff, etc.

Today, I am grateful for great friends and family, God, love, prayers and hope.

Rach

Major Acceptance Review

Last Friday, amidst the craziness of packing and everything else, I had what is called a "Major Acceptance Review". As a transfer student, I had to do it halfway through my first semester at my university. It is described in the handbook as, Advanced standing as a major in the Art Dept. is achieved by faculty evaluation of a portfolio of the student's studio coursework.

So, the night before (because of about 6 other commitments during the day) I set up about 20 or so of my art pieces from 11pm-2am. I was pretty pleased with how it turned out (see pic below).

The next morning was the review which was a bit stressful. It was just me and the art faculty (about 12-15) with clipboards-all looking at you and your work. I actually was pretty calm and felt comfortable. I felt it went well and based on the paper in the picture that I picked up yesterday-they felt it went well too!

Whew!

I am an official art student. It feels amazing!

Today, I am grateful for the weekend, friends, family and God.

Rachel

Little Things Make me Happy

Anyone who has known me for awhile, knows that I am lucky-not just medically-but whenever there's a drawing or something of the sort, there's a pretty good chance I'll win. It still kind of amazes me to this day how often this happens. Off the top of my head, some of the things I can remember winning have included: a riverboat day cruise for my 2nd grade class and time on TV, a DVD player, an MP3 player, a karaoke machine, posters, CDs, books, etc.

So, on Friday there was a meeting for the art department at my university and there was a ticketed drawing. I sat there not really knowing anyone and intently studying my little red ticket when it was called. I walked up and was delighted to receive a T-shirt and a tote bag. What made me smile about them though was they were donated by an art store that I worked at for 3 years. I have fond memories-they were fantastic about supporting me through my cancer experiences. I worked there after the 3rd time I was diagnosed and would work when I was not undergoing treatments. This was where I applied to work about a month after finding out my grim diagnosis and wanted to just live life and have a job like a 'normal person'. When I was interviewed, I definitely down-played my situation a ton. Thankfully, it all worked out.

So now I have a new t-shirt and a new tote from a place I was proud to work and still love going by and saying hi!

Today, I am grateful for: opportunities, a great weekend!, a fun week ahead (I'll tell you more probably on Thurs. or Friday when I get back but I'll still check in if you want to leave a comment-hint, hint!), family, friends, God and life!

Rach

Using Art To Explain Pain

In an article on healthcentral.com, Karen Lee Richards discusses how Mark Collen dealt with pain and conveyed it to his doctor-through art and poetry. I think that if that is something that can help you deal, then go for it. I know art and writing have helped me to work through a lot of feelings!

Mark Collen's website, where others share their artwork about pain, can be found at: www.painexhibit.com/

Today, I am grateful for a wonderful dinner with loved ones last night, a morning with mom, friends, family and God.

Rach

End of the Year

What a wonderful end of the school year (and beautiful distractions that make me think less about that 'pain stuff')...Hard to believe that I had my last class at my college but I'm ready for the 'one door closes, another door opens'...

Before my last exam, I briefly spoke at a charity benefit at a fancy shoe boutique on the behalf of The Wellness Community. (My prof was amazing enough to let me come to the exam late so I could do this). Anyways, it was quite fun with yummy appetizers, good music and very inspirational people, as usual. The lady who sticks out though is a woman who approached me. She said when she was 23 she had cancer in her arm and had to have her arm and shoulder removed. She looked at me and told me how she never thought she'd see the day when she was 40 and here she was-almost 60 with a husband and 3 kids! She took me by the shoulders and told me-you'll get there too :). Very cool moment!

Tonight I went to a great art fair, had some father-daughter bonding and was inspired to come home and do some painting...so I better get to it!

Today, I am grateful for friends, family, God, fun, art, the rain holding out tonight, exciting things on the horizon

Rach

Art Submitted = 1 Piece Accepted

I submitted 2 pieces for the annual art show at my college-a black and white drawing and one of my bald beauties (above) . The people at my school are so talented that I really did not know if I had a chance. While the black and white was rejected, this piece, made in Illustrator in a Computer Arts class, was picked. I am pretty excited and look forward to trying to go to the opening reception (there is even an award ceremony with monetary prizes).

Today, I am grateful and getting excited about my big speech on Thursday (I can't believe it's here already!), school winding down, a partial day off school to do the speech!, life, love, God.

Rach

Self-Portrait

This is a painting I mainly did for my portfolio review for school. It is a semi-self portrait. Enjoy!

Today, I am thankful that my speech-writing process has been going so well, that I am healthy and able to juggle everything that is going on right now, for friends, family, God and life.

Love,

Rachel

Oncology on Canvas

I am really excited to see that Lilly Oncology is once again doing the Lilly Oncology On Canvas competition! It is a really great way for cancer survivors who are also artists (like me) to express ourselves and enter into a neat competition on top of it! I strongly encourage you to enter. Who else is elgible? Amateur artist or professional—people diagnosed with cancer, health care professionals, family members, friends and caregivers are all welcome to participate. More info on the website-http://www.lillyoncologyoncanvas.com/2008_contest/index.jsp

I also was able to find my piece from entering in 2006- http://www.lillyoncologyoncanvas.com/gallery/index.jsp (Search for "The Light Makes the Dark More Bearable" and also filter it so it's only "acrylic, person diagnosed with cancer and US"). It's the one with the yellow and lots going on and when you open it up there's a person in a raindrop with a long explanation. Apparently my little painting has been traveling the world with the exhibit (how cool!). It looks like it's traveling through 2008-see if the exhibit is coming to a town near you! I wish it was coming here but it does not look like it is.

Today, I am grateful for art's healing abilities, for family, friends and God.

Rachel

25

Yes, it's true, I'm getting 'old'. Older than I think anyone ever thought, especially a lot of people in the medical field. Today, I am 25 and so grateful to be so!

I had MANY wonderful birthday presents and there is one today that was in the form of art portfolio review at the college I will (for sure now) be transfering to and attending in the fall. I was secretly looking forward to it.

Early this morning I gathered up an 'artsy outfit', my father and 2 huge portfolios plus a large business-like bag-all full of my artwork and headed off to the reviews. I was feeling confident but still, there's always that doubt in your mind no matter how confident or prepared you may feel. Well, did I do enough? Is it what they are looking for? What do other people have? Maybe I should have done more over spring break...that sort of thing. The voice never leaves any of our heads, it seems.

I went into the review and spread out my paintings, drawings, photographs, sketchbooks, etc. I got along well with the Chair of the Art Department and the professor that were both reviewing. It felt amazing to have them say positive things about my work and get into a nice conversation with each one about various topics. I was assured I was accepted even though they do not usually let people know the day of the interviews. The entire day I have felt like I am floating. The tour of campus, just everything, I sat there and thought this is my future, this feels SO right. Now I just have to get through the last month and a half of my current school and program.

That's the most pensive I'm going to get about my birthday tonight. Do I feel different? Yes, but not because I'm 25 now, it's because I have so many solid things in my future that feel so wonderful and right! This birthday gal is ready for some sleepy-time.

Today, I am grateful for way more than I can type right now.

Love,
Rachel

Stainless Steel Tree

As I said awhile ago, photography has been something that has started interesting me more. I just play around my little Canon. I was going through some old pics on my computer and saw these from last summer. This is a stainless steel tree art sculpture that stands out the art museum where I live-the artist is Roxy Paine.

Let me know which one you like better! Thanks!

Today, I am grateful for: having friends help me when I need it!, getting a surprise break from class last night, friends, family, God and love.

Rach

Eyes

Rachel Baumgartner 2008

I thought I'd share a drawing piece I did during my 'art date' a few weeks ago.

Today, I am grateful for some wonderful days recently and friends, family and God.

Love,

Rach

Bald head

Sept. 2003, 3rd time with cancer

I was going through old digital pictures and came across this one. It made me laugh. All 3 times being bald, as an artist, I viewed my head as my canvas, my challenge.

At times, there was glitter or face paint or crazy bandanas or a pink wig or a blonde wig, etc. There was also the man in San Diego, CA that was doing airbrushing by the beach. I had him do my head. It was gorgeous-a sunset!

A high school dance brought a head-full of hot pink stars :).

I'll try to post more 'headshots' in the future too.

Anyways, I know some of you are going through chemo and I want to encourage you to make the best of your situation because it really helps. Seeing humor in the face of hard times can be really helpful.

I'm trying to take my own advice right now because I really don't feel so great (the new meds are making me feel 'funky' and really tired) but I'll be ok!

Today, I am grateful for: positive things, getting another day to be alive, God, family and friends!

Love,

Rachel

I've Been Painting!

So I finally got out the (dusty) paintbrushes last night...I was experimenting. About a year ago, I used gesso to affix handmade paper to canvas and last night I took eye droppers and dripped acrylic ink while changing the direction of the canvas from time to time. The ink became a nice contrast to the more organic, circular ridges on the handmade paper (as you can see in the close-up pic). Very therapeutic, fun and long overdue...

It's abstract and an experiment and I'm happy how it turned out but I'd love to hear people's honest opinions-no need to be nice just to be nice ;).

The painting is about the craziness of life and resembles never-ending roads, at least that's what I saw but again, I love to hear what other people see in my artwork!

Today, I am grateful for: running so many errands with Gabe's grandma for the wedding, getting some fabulous ideas for reception table stuff, cooking dinner tonight for my family with Gabe and God, family and friends!

Ciao bella!

Rach

Happy Saturday!

I haven't been home at all the whole day! Anyways, just checking in and saying I had an amazing day...tell you more tomorrow. Good night!

Today I am really grateful for: friends, family, love, laughter, art and weddings!

Love,
Rachel